Autumn with its cooler weather and falling leaves is a reminder that life is full of changes.
But those same seasonal changes also bring familiar routines, ranging from pulling out sweaters and heavier coats to decorating for the holidays.
This combination of change and familiarity is also part of caregiving. A loved one’s medical condition often has unexpected ups and downs that can throw life into disarray, but their health will simultaneously require regular maintenance to preserve good nutrition, physical safety, and overall wellbeing. Routines of eating, bathroom practices, and exercise will go hand in hand with shocking upheavals.
For caregivers, this combination of change and routine can be daunting. When loved ones first begin to need extra assistance, previously simple tasks, such as walking through their home or getting a bite to eat, can take extra effort and patience for both themselves and their new caregivers. Simultaneously, sudden traumas, such as a stroke or a slip in the shower, can cause so much damage that a caregiver might feel an underlying anxiety even on good days.
So how can caregivers manage both—the more challenging routines and the sudden shifts of a mercurial ailment? Here are some ideas.
1) The Benefits of Giving
When people help others, their bodies get doses of “happy” chemicals like serotonin, dopamine, and oxytocin. If you are your loved one’s main caregiver, don’t keep all of those mood boosts to yourself. Spread them around by accepting the help of others. By letting friends and family and paid caregivers help, you’re not only reducing the load on yourself, you’ve found another way to give. Think of yourself as the happiness fairy, who is spreading joy and community by letting others share a little of their time and effort with your loved one.
2) Slow Down
With all of the tasks in your life, it may feel impossible to slow down. Yet, you may also have times in your day when you can take a moment to appreciate the loveliness in your world. For example, it’s extraordinary that you care enough about your loved one to spend so much time and energy to ensure they are provided with the necessary support. Mundane moments can offer special opportunities. Take a moment to wonder at a tomato as you slice it. Feel your breath going in and out and think how magical it is that you move and exist in the world. You and everything around you are precious. Try to take time to remember that, and see how it makes you feel.
3) Look for the Joy
As the holidays and their extra activities arrive, people can become even more overwhelmed. Yet, the varied celebrations also offer moments of connection as people share Halloween candy or express appreciation for each other’s decorations and festive clothing. Families may reunite for meals, vacations, or trick or treating, and communities often offer special events where neighbors renew their connections. So as the weather cools, look for the joy wherever you can find it. See it in the beauty of the changing leaves and the excitement of people who relish the holiday spirit. Everyone can use a little more joy in their lives, so open your heart and let that joy float in.
Thank you for reading, please share with a friend, and be well.
—KK
We are grateful to have been helping caregivers in need for over 10 years thanks to the support of the many generous and caring friends who have helped make a difference in so many lives.
Please consider donating to the Kathi Koll Foundation so you can help make a difference in struggling family caregivers’ lives. Thank you!
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