January is a common time when people commit to something new, but it’s also a time when people drop those same commitments often before the month is over.
It’s a rare human that can keep a New Year’s resolution, and yet a resolution and the New Year can be full of possibility. We might dream of new adventures, new discipline, new routines, new friends. Dreaming is vital. We all need hope for the future, and a new year offers a time to dream.
Caregivers’ dreams can be particularly complicated because our loved ones’ ailments can make even the simplest resolution more complicated. For example, new exercise routines or healthier eating choices may require extra time and/or money, and caregivers often are scrambling to have enough of one or the other or both.
So, what can we do achieve our goals outside of caregiving if we simply don’t have enough time? Here are some ideas:
1) Revise the Objective
One reason that people have trouble with resolutions is that they start too big. Perhaps they want to get more exercise, but when they go out for a jog, they find themselves out of breath, miserable, and overwhelmed. Instead of giving up, revise the objective to something tiny and manageable. Try jogging in place for one minute each day at home or maybe change the goal to dancing to a favorite song. If that’s still too much, reduce the goal even more. Whatever you can manage, do it daily for one or two weeks until it’s part of your routine, then add another minute or another song. The important thing is to do something that works for you and creates a new and satisfying habit. Always remember that not meeting your goals every day is a central part of actually meeting those goals. It’s okay to skip days, go back down to a smaller goal after you’ve worked yourself up to a bigger one, and start all over again if life got in your way and you had to take a month off.
2) Find a New Way
Consider whether there might a new way to achieve your resolution. For example, if you want to eat healthier, maybe check in with some friends who want the same thing and plan a potluck of healthy meals. Or maybe just exchange texts about what you’re eating with a friend each day to provide some easy accountability. If you want to exercise more and have a loved one who uses a wheelchair, maybe push him or her around the block to create a healthy routine for you both. Or maybe you’re already doing that and missing social activity with your friends. You could invite a friend along so that you can all three chat together while you push your loved one. Make a list of your most important goals and brainstorm all sorts of ways that you might be able to make them happen. You might surprise yourself and have fun doing so.
3) Accept Your Limits & Acknowledge Your Successes
Caregivers are often wonderful planners and doers, but sometimes we commit to too much. That’s okay. It’s okay to slow down and relax and accept your limits. If there’s no way to add exercise into your schedule, there’s no way to add exercise to your schedule. Or perhaps you’re already exercising, but don’t realize it. Cooking meals, vacuuming and running errands, all require exercise. If you’re doing any of those things or other physical chores, count them as meeting your goal. Also, take the time to appreciate everything you are able to manage. Whatever you do is enough. You don’t have to do more. You are just fine as you are, and if your New Year’s resolution has to go, then it has to go.
As you move through 2026, be kind to yourself. You’re doing great working caring for your loved one and yourself. You’re already a champ.
Thank you for reading, please share with a friend, and be well.
—KK
We are grateful to have been helping caregivers in need for over 10 years thanks to the support of the many generous and caring friends who have helped make a difference in so many lives.
Please consider donating to the Kathi Koll Foundation so you can help make a difference in struggling family caregivers’ lives. Thank you!
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