Although she had a thriving career as an entertainer, Dolly Parton also was a long-time caregiver to her husband, Carl Dean, who reportedly suffered from Alzheimer’s disease for six years before his death in March of 2025.
Unfortunately, like many caregivers, Parton’s focus on her loved one’s health impacted her own.
On Aug. 21, Parton said, “I am dealing with some health issues that I just didn’t pay attention to when I was watching over Carl.”
Four days later, she died of cancer.
Whether Parton could have recovered from that cancer if it was caught earlier is of course unknowable. Yet, her story is common. Caregivers often forego their own healthcare in favor of their loved one’s.
It’s hard not to do so. Like Parton, caregivers often have multiple commitments, and it’s easy to push aside ailments in the early stages when there are fewer and less severe symptoms. However, that is also the time when an illness is easiest to treat.
So, how can you as a caregiver find ways to take care of yourself when your world is filled with taking care of someone else?
1) Make Two Calls
If you have to call a doctor for your loved one, make a second call connected to your own health. The same goes for emails. If you are sending a note to a healthcare professional about your loved one, also take a moment to send one for yourself, even it’s only about a little pain that you think is nothing. It might not be nothing, and it’s better to check than find out later that it was the start of a bigger problem.
2) Go Together
When possible, align the location of your healthcare appointments with your loved one’s. That doesn’t necessarily mean the doctors are the same, but the buildings or medical facilities might be the same or close to each other. One couple that I know set up appointments that were across the street with different specialists. Even if your appointments are in different areas of town, setting them up on the same day can reduce the commute time, and, if you’re already dealing with a medical issue, it may not be hard to add on a second appointment that day.
3) Keep Notes
You may already have a spot in your phone or a notebook to write down your loved one’s doctors, medications, and medical issues. If not, it’s a good idea to begin crafting one. However, don’t forget to keep tabs on your own health too. Keep a record of your health history, and when a new worry crops up, make a note of the date, time, and feeling, so that you can recall the details at your next appointment. Then, when you talk to your doctor, pull up that list so you don’t miss dealing with a small issue before it becomes a big one.
Remember, you are special, important, and precious, and it’s vital for both you and your loved one that you use a little of your caregiving energy for yourself.
Thank you for reading, be well, and please share with a friend.
All my best, KK
We are grateful to have been helping caregivers in need for over 10 years thanks to the support of the many generous and caring friends who have helped make a difference in so many lives.
Please consider donating to the Kathi Koll Foundation so you can help make a difference in struggling family caregivers’ lives. Thank you!
Picture “Throwback” photo of Dolly Parton and husband Carl shared on Dolly’s Instagram February 14, 2022