When suddenly thrust into life as a caregiver, one needs support—financial, social, emotional, and physical—but how and where do you find it?
The answer to that will be unique for every person and each situation. Some people might have big families or an extensive group of supportive friends who jump in to help out, but most will not have this ideal situation.
When one suddenly becomes a caregiver, the challenges can be immense and confusing.Aside from the varied emotional and medical stresses, caregivers must deal with sudden and unexpected financial changes.
When Janet Dodson, a Kathi Koll Foundation award recipient, lost her mother, Dodson and her stepsister became the caretakers for Dodson’s stepfather, who has Parkinson’s disease. Aside from the family’s grief, the financial and legal stresses were immense as the sisters worked to understand the many aspects of not just his medical and physical care, but the requisite legal and banking adjustments and varied costs.
Keeping intimacy alive is a challenge in any relationship, but when one partner has had a stroke, the challenges can multiply.
Strangely enough, after my husband had a massive stroke that left him paralyzed from the neck down, our love for each other grew stronger. This may seem odd since our relationship and our lives also were tested in ways I could never have imagined.
It’s the New Year and that time that we start thinking about how we’re going to do things differently, and better, in the next year. Perhaps you’d like to shed those holiday pounds by going to the gym every day, take a new class or read more. The New Year is a good time to make a change or at least think about making a change.
After my husband suffered a catastrophic stroke in 2005, the holidays didn’t seem so merry.
I found myself yearning for our life before Don became paralyzed from the neck down and had to use a respirator to breathe. Everything about the holiday season seemed to emphasize how our old life was gone and how our present reality was nothing either of us had wanted.
After a parent or grandparent becomes disabled, how will a child react? We recently did a piece that offered advice from LA-based psychologist Bonnie Berman on how to talk to children about disability.
This was something I worried about after Don became sick—how will my grandchildren react when they see Don on a respirator and moving in a wheelchair for the first time?
When a parent or grandparent has a stroke or other sudden health incident and has become fully or partially disabled, talking to children about it can be a delicate endeavor. The task can be especially challenging if the beloved adult no longer communicates or moves as s/he once did. How should this conversation be approached and what words should a caring adult use? I sat down with Los Angeles-based psychologist Dr. Bonnie Berman to get insights into the best approach.
The following is a Q&A with Suzanne A., a Southern California-based caregiver and recent Kathi Koll Foundation recipient.
Suzanne is a caregiver to her husband Gil, who suffered multiple strokes and is now a paraplegic. With Gil unable to work, Suzanne works part-time to support them.
In our work with caregivers, one of the issues we see all the time is the challenge that people have in accepting their new lives. Their spouse may now be partially disabled or have a long recovery road ahead of them and their life is 180 degrees different than it was. When they talk about some of the difficulties they’re experiencing, there’s a frequent undertone of longing that their life will return to ‘normal’ at some point.
The holidays can be stressful under ideal circumstances,
The holidays can be a tough time of year, particularly for caregivers. There are more activities and expectations, and you are supposed to be happy because, hey, it’s the holidays! But that’s just not the reality for many people. But, as I have learned, when you’re caring for a loved one, it’s even more important to take time to enjoy the season.