When Tina Lewis’ mother became ill, life became tumultuous and exhausting.
Not only was her mother suffering, but Lewis, an only child, was suddenly a caregiver tackling numerous challenges. The first was simply figuring out what was wrong. Initially some doctors thought that depression might be the cause of her mother’s difficulties, but Lewis knew that wasn’t the case.
When a stroke or other sudden health event has wreaked havoc on a couple’s life together, retaining intimacy and joy may pale in the face of preeminent life and death issues.
Caregivers suffer disproportionately from depression, anxiety and loneliness, but each caregiver can take one step that will help combat all three: finding a support group.
When people becomes parents for the first time, they encounter a new world with demands and stresses and joys that they never anticipated.
Strangely enough, when someone suffers from a stroke or other debilitating ailment, at least two people end up needing help—the sufferer and the caregiver.
When you are suddenly thrust into life as a caregiver, handling a loved one’s medical needs can be one of the most confusing things for you to manage.
Unless you have a medical background, you’ll be learning all sorts of new vocabulary and medical processes. You may be interacting with multiple doctors about varied medications and treatments, all of which you need to oversee. You may need to perform a litany of tasks at home, ranging from administering injections to monitoring blood oxygen levels, while also assisting with baths and other cleanliness tasks.
One of the most heart-wrenching aspects of being a caregiver is deciding how to let go of your loved one.
When is the right time to move a patient into hospice, which can provide loving and professional support while someone is dying? When would residential placement be helpful, or would dying at home be preferable? Could palliative care, which helps with pain management, be of use? How do you approach making certain the will and any other legal issues are properly addressed? Should preparations be made in advance for a funeral?
When suddenly thrust into life as a caregiver, one needs support—financial, social, emotional, and physical—but how and where do you find it?
The answer to that will be unique for every person and each situation. Some people might have big families or an extensive group of supportive friends who jump in to help out, but most will not have this ideal situation.
When one suddenly becomes a caregiver, the challenges can be immense and confusing.Aside from the varied emotional and medical stresses, caregivers must deal with sudden and unexpected financial changes.
When Janet Dodson, a Kathi Koll Foundation award recipient, lost her mother, Dodson and her stepsister became the caretakers for Dodson’s stepfather, who has Parkinson’s disease. Aside from the family’s grief, the financial and legal stresses were immense as the sisters worked to understand the many aspects of not just his medical and physical care, but the requisite legal and banking adjustments and varied costs.
Keeping intimacy alive is a challenge in any relationship, but when one partner has had a stroke, the challenges can multiply.
Strangely enough, after my husband had a massive stroke that left him paralyzed from the neck down, our love for each other grew stronger. This may seem odd since our relationship and our lives also were tested in ways I could never have imagined.