The following is a Q&A with Suzanne A., a Southern California-based caregiver and recent Kathi Koll Foundation recipient.
Suzanne is a caregiver to her husband Gil, who suffered multiple strokes and is now a paraplegic. With Gil unable to work, Suzanne works part-time to support them.
In our work with caregivers, one of the issues we see all the time is the challenge that people have in accepting their new lives. Their spouse may now be partially disabled or have a long recovery road ahead of them and their life is 180 degrees different than it was. When they talk about some of the difficulties they’re experiencing, there’s a frequent undertone of longing that their life will return to ‘normal’ at some point.
The holidays can be stressful under ideal circumstances,
The holidays can be a tough time of year, particularly for caregivers. There are more activities and expectations, and you are supposed to be happy because, hey, it’s the holidays! But that’s just not the reality for many people. But, as I have learned, when you’re caring for a loved one, it’s even more important to take time to enjoy the season.
With National Stroke Awareness Month coming to a close, I wanted to send a friendly reminder to everyone about the signs and symptoms of stroke.
Last week, I met a woman whose husband suffered a serious health incident. She was in the process of setting up long-term care options for him and shared how difficult it was to locate all of his legal and medical documents, some of which were now lost.
We all experience feelings of guilt from time or time. As caregivers, we can feel guilty about leaving the patient alone for too long or for taking time to ourselves. Patients can feel guilty about asking for help or for even needing help in the first place.
Coping with guilt can be tough but I have discovered some effective tools for dealing with it from author and psychology researcher Dr. John Grohol, Psy.D., that have helped me move on more quickly.
I’ve found most helpful in supporting those at the end-of-life is to focus on them and what they want, without judgment. It’s important to meet the patient where they’re at – physically, emotionally and spiritually.
One of the greatest gifts you can give a loved one at the end-of-life is the gift of presence. Doing so can be one of the most loving and supportive acts you can take to make the transition easier and more peaceful for them.
Many Blessings,
Kathi Koll
When a friend’s spouse experiences a stroke or other significant health incident, the inclination is to support the patient. Particularly as time passes, it’s easy (and natural) to focus on how the patient is recovering and forget that your friend has an on-going, and oftentimes full-time role in their spouse’s recovery.
It’s November and the beginning of the holiday season, which has me thinking about the many blessings I have to be grateful for today.
However, it wasn’t always this way. When I first became a caregiver, my world turned upside down, I was not feeling especially grateful for anything. I was having difficulty adjusting to my new life and frustrated by the multitude of medical and personal limitations. At times it felt as if I was just surviving.
With the change of seasons now upon us and school and work schedules resumed, many of us can start to feel stressed with everything that needs to get done.
Caregivers may feel left out simply by watching their friends make fall plans when they have to continue being a full-time caregiver.